Before I Became a Mother

I became a mother on Friday, February 5, 2010 at 7:21 a.m. Chandler Jarrett McKay weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz. and was 20 inches long. He is a special gift from God, and I am so thankful to be his mother! This poem is dedicated to him.

Before I Became a Mother-
I slept as late as I wanted on Saturday mornings, and I never worried about staying out late if I wanted to.

Before I Became a Mother-
I took long showers and shaved my legs almost everyday. I brought a lot of papers home to grade, and I regularly spent lots of hours after school in my classroom.

Before I Became a Mother-
I cleaned my house each day and it was pretty much spotless. I never tripped over toys, and I didn't worry about making sure my cabinets would lock.

Before I Became a Mother-
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, or peed on. I had complete control of my mind and thoughts. I rarely forgot things, and I slept all night every night, without a care in the world.

Before I Became a Mother -
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could give him shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin or laugh. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep and wonder how the time could fly by so quickly.

Before I Became a Mother -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I Became a Mother -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby, or to dry his pitiful little tears, or to receive his wet, sloppy kisses. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I Became a Mother -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure everything was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mother. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I became a mother.